Day Twenty5 - B!tch Please... That Is NOT cheesecake.

Allow me to make someting perfectly clear.

• Tofu is TOFU, not meat.
• Carob is CAROB, not chocolate.
• Decaf is DECAF, not coffee.
• Dry humping is... well, you get the gist.....
• PROTEIN CHEESECAKE IS NOT CHEESECAKE.

By any means, in fact it should be illegal to even have the word cheesecake in something that is indeed not that. WTF?! Look, if I'm being honest, it was probably more the journey my imaginative tastebuds took me on rather than the actual faux cheesecake itself. Boy what a disappointment though. I also know its faux cheesecake after tasting it as I wouldn't be concerned if I got home and it was missing from the fridge. Whereas with real cheesecake that plate would be on lock down and the fool who dared touch it would definitly loose a digit or two.

At Day 25 we are now sitting on 44% of the way there. Holy hell. When did this happen? More so, this weekend will mark 1 month since we sacked the veggie man and started winking back at the butcher. Top effort, time to pat myself on the back again.. Woop woop.

Day 24 Stats

Sessions: Bootcamp

Plumbing Status: relief at last!!!!! Far out, you sure learn to appreciate the simple things in life on this challenge hey?!?!

Menu 

Breakfast:

Rise and shine breaky shake

 

Morning Tea:

Protein shake

 

Lunch:

Salmon Sashimi

 

Afternoon tea:

Yogurt

 

Dinner:

Kanga Bangas... out of sugar free tomato sauce. I wont lie, I went to use the normal stuff. It would have technically been a cheat if I had. Luckily due to all the fad diets our household has been rocking over the last few months there was none in the house anyway. Brilliant.

 

Dessert:

As you can see above, I had PRETEND slushie shyte that some genius called cheesecake. Think I'm safer with yogurt and protein to be honest.

 

 

Day Twenty4- En route to Crazy Town

Someone was handing out a bag of crazy pills this week and majority of the 8 week challengers were so hungry we all took a bite. Don't get me wrong, we all do it, goes with the territory of being obsessive.

We've hit the stage now, well, I believe anyway, that we will try anything, for that extra cm, kg loss and if we don't get it we are not satisfied. Even when we do get it we still think hmph... could've been more!!! Why are we never happy with our results? I know personally, I have to kick myself occasional when I become dishearted or feel suprised that I didn't loose the hoped for 10kg overnight. So as result of a scale napping I too have decided to stop with the scale obsession.

It got a little crazy, to the point doing a wee was a 'punching air moment'.... surely that's 100grams??? And number two's? Crickey, that's gotta be a dress size for sure! So side by side (no I am NOT a Collingwood supporter) with my mate who was robbed of her scales I will get off mine too. I'm not too phased by the measuring tape, probably just the lazy side coming out and with all that measuring that's gotta be, what, at least 1 minute away from a reflective object checking my guns are still there. Here's a great article by inspirational fitness guru Craig Harper on Scale Soldiers.

I had previously written something completely different in this blog, changed my mind though, as us women enjoy doing. But one key part that I want to keep but due to my fried brain can't segway properly. So I'll just come out with it. It's a mention of a friend who celebrated a milestone. 10 years in remission on Saturday. What. A. Legend. You know who you are. Keep motivating and inspiring people, keep getting stronger,  keep kicking ass!!!! Rockstar.

Day 23 Stats

Sessions: Morning Run and Ashy Session

Plumbing Status: this is heading to serious town. Been a very windy day though if you can pick up what I'm putting down!

Menu 

Breakfast:

Rise and shine breaky shake

 

Morning Tea:

Protein shake

 

Lunch:

Salmon Quiches.... YUK!!! Someone told me these were fantastic. WRONG, they were little balls of sh!t. I made 12 and have eaten 4 and wont touch the other 8 even if it means starving. The reason they weren't as delicious as the people who told me they were so good though..... DIFFERENT QUICHE RECIPE!!!!

 

Afternoon tea:

Yogurt

 

Dinner:

Steak with veggies, sweet baby jesus, it was soooo good. I ate the veggies raw though as I couldn't wait for them to go in the steamer. Bloody amazing folks.

 

Dessert:

Yogurt and protein powder

Day Twenty3 - Green Beans... Get. On. It.

You know when you break up with someone and think back about the relationship its always better than what it ACTUALLY was. You laughed alot, you were so happy, in fact... why did you even break up, everything was awesome, ideal, picture perfect?!?! WRONG, it was shyte, and they were and most likely still are a DOUCHEBAG!

Well, since breaking up with carbs, I'm starting to remember back to those good old days and recreate when a vegetable would light up my life, it made me happy, I was more driven, alive AND successful thanks to that little bundle of joy. What CRAP! Veggies were on my plate and I ate them because they are good for you. But now, far out, give me a green bean and my blood starts rushing.... mmmm beans.

Don't even get me started on coke zero, that's like a carnival in my mouth. Was it ALWAYS that tasty?

Day 22 Stats
So It's probably time for a shake up here. Probably time to ditch the mood status since my bitch switch has been turned off and I'm back to my normal self which is 99.9% happy times (with the exception of occasional crazy town). I'm not really craving anything except the permanent 3 c's craving... corona, chocolate and well, carbs.

Even though I'm working out most days, pretty much eating the same ol' crap day in day out. I still want to record it though, as it's like a training diary of what has gone in my mouth and will be good to reflect on.

Sessions: Bootcamp and netball WE FINALLY FREAKIN WON!!!

Mood status:

Craving: 

Plumbing Status: metamucil capsules are crap, that's all I'm saying.

Menu 

Breakfast:

Rise and shine breaky shake

 

Morning Tea:

Protein shake

 

Lunch:

Salmon sashimi

 

Afternoon tea:

nil

 

Dinner:

Salmon steak... yep didn't really think that through

Day Twenty2 - PB's + Pushup Perfection

There is nothing quite like seeing an improvement when you are training for something. Be it a donut eating competition, an olympic sport or simply how quickly you can get from bed to car and ready for work in the morning.  Today, I rocked out a PB at bootcamp benchmark testing. When you have been training so hard and eating the equivalent of a large animal farm each week it feels FANTASTIC to see the improvement. The early nights, early mornings and craptastic food is really starting to feel worth it. Dragging oneself out of bed at 5am, messed up hair and pal meaty bite breath to run around like a headless chook is starting to pay off. Talk to me about scales and measuring tapes all you like but when your body starts showing you some lovin' in return it makes me grin like a cheshire cat with a fresh kitty litter tray.

Back to it today, reset, week 4... show me what you got! New week, new daily challenge. Adding what will be known as the 50/50 challenge. 50 pushups, 50 sit ups, everyday for the rest of the challenge. A few buddies from OBC will be joining me. Doing it for a few reasons. Obviously to chisel away at the abs and also to perfect my push up technique. Currently I'm transitioning to my toes so look like a bit of a nuff nuff. Might try initially doing 10 sets of 5 push ups so the technique is al perfecto!

Bring the noise WEEK FOUR! I'm ready for whatever you've got to throw at me! Social functions? Pfft. Mood Swings? Try me. "AINT NO STOPPING ME".... just like KJ-52

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbvpHAydc9E 

Day 21 Stats

Sessions: Rest day after 36km run yesterday. Did I mention that I ran 36km yesterday? Yes, yesterday, 36km.

Mood status: A little bit evil after my cafe run in from yesterday, made me laugh though... see yesterdays blog if you need clarification

Craving: nothing

Plumbing Status: :(

Menu 

Breakfast:

2 eggs and salmon, no toast

Lunch:

50g Ham + protein shake

Dinner:

Chicken Stir fry

On reflection, I really didn't eat enough this day... I have completely lost my appetite so need to be mindful of still getting food in and the body doesn't seem to be giving me the 'I'm hungry' heads up.

Day Twenty1 - My New Aspergers Friend

Dear New Friend with undiagnosed Aspergers,

I am so touched that despite 30 other free seats at this cafe, you felt the need to sit in my lap. I feel blessed that you have also decided to light up your cigarette and share your passive smoke with me, what a true gentleman you are. I'm glad that just like mine, your mother taught you to share, it's heartwarming, really.  Since you have decided to completely invade my personal space and fluck up my Sunday afternoon 'me time' I'd like to inappropriately overshare with you in return. You see, strange man, I am on a diet, it's called the 8 week challenge and it has enabled me to perfect my passive aggressive skills. Lucky you didn't try this devilish act on week two or you would have been a dead man. I was more than just a little bit unhinged. 

What has allowed me to stay in said state of Zen though is that you also think it's appropriate to read over my shoulder. As I am typing this I'm guessing that you are starting to realise that yes indeed you ARE the knob I'm blogging about. Kudos to me though for using more readable and bold font in my blog today to assist you in reading over my shoulder. See bucko, CONSIDERATION, try it some time.

Oh wait, don't leave, did I offend you? I thought we were really hitting it off. I wanted to suggest you try this diet as that vanilla slice and bucket of latte you just inhaled has not done your already messy figure any favours. I also wanted to ask what you thought of my new found passive aggressive skills... you likey? I sure do.

Kind regards,

Emma

Queen of Passive Aggressive

The Office of Zen and Personal Space Pty Ltd

Day 20 Stats

Sessions: 36km run.... Yes, you heard correct!!!

Mood status: Feel amazing after completing that run

Craving: the rice paper rolls being consumed by my housemate

Plumbing Status: MIA

Menu 

Breakfast:

Rise and shine breaky shake

2 pieces of Rye Bread toast with avocado.. its all part of the carb loading.

Lunch:

Rise and Shine Breaky Shake take two

Dinner:

Chicken Snags

Dessert:

Protein Powder and yogurt

Day 20 - 36, The Golden Number

36 is both the square of 6 and a triangular number, making it a square triangular number. Being the smallest number with exactly 9 divisors, 36 is a highly composite number. 36 is the number of degrees in the interior angle of each tip of a regular pentagram. 36 is also the number of kilometres I smashed out on a run today.

It's also the % of how much is finished of this eight week challenge. I've also consumed about 36kg of protein powder and hoped 36 times a day for a 36kg weight loss.

It's also the number of times in this blog I am going to tell you how awesome it felt to finish that run. Awesome, awesome, awesome. The feeling of that annoying man in my iPod saying '36km completed".... money can't buy it. Straight into the water after the run, in my undies and not a care in the world. You're welcome Port Melbourne, sorry for scaring all the kids :)

Just a short blog today, as I'm pretty much exhausted from the run. Sorry folks.

Day 19 Stats

Sessions: Rest Day, still prepping for big Saturday Run

Mood status: Pumped, heading to the Storm final whoop whoop

Craving: wine... a dirty cheap and nasty glass of wine

Plumbing Status: few issues again, stay tuned

Menu 

Breakfast:

Rise and shine breaky shake... seriously addicted.
 

Morning Tea:

Protein shake

 

Lunch:

Dark Rye santa with chicken breast, spinach, onion, carrot

Part of the carb loading

 

Afternoon tea:

it appears I forgot my afternoon tea

 

Dinner:

OK it sounds bad but bear with me and don't be too quick to judge.
Beef Burger at Grill'd
Wholemeal roll, LEAN beef patty, egg, spinach, carrot, onion.
I had them remove the cheese, mayo AND relish. It was still CLEAN and I had my protein and carb for the morning carb load.

Dessert:

Yogurt with protein powder